Martian Child

OMGosh this movie was awesome....being adopted myself I could so relate to this movie. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry ( I even saw my macho husband get teary eyed) and it will make you really think about how an adopted child may or may not feel. I had an awesome life but I will share a few of my feelings I had growing up.

I can so relate to the little guy in the movie wearing his sunglasses. I even asked my husband if he has ever done this. I find myself wearing my sunglasses when I am outside alot even if there is no sun, not only to keep the sun out but as a security measure to myself. Like I can hide behind them and no one can see me. Call it an insecurity or something...like my glasses can protect me from anything.

I have always been insecure. I am afraid of losing the people in my life, and I am afraid of doing something that may disappoint them.

Growing up I often wondered why, why my biological parents didn't keep me, and who did I look like? I was a homebody because I was afraid if I left my home that I would come back and my adoptive parents would be gone. I often wonder why I have some of the health problems I have....which one of my parents had them. All kinds of things ran through my head. I know my bio parents wanted me and they did the best thing for me but there were still days those thoughts would pass through my head.

I have always been told I am a beautiful person inside and out but for some reason I have never felt that way about myself. I guess it has to do with the insecurity thing.

I don't want anyone to think I had a bad life because I had AWESOME adoptive parents that made my life wonderful but there were always these thoughts that went through my head. I guess I am just not confident about myself...not good I know.

The day I gave birth to my firstborn was a day I will NEVER forget. I was able to look into her beautiful blue eyes and see a piece of me....someone that looked like me, something that was my very own.

I hope to be able to help Aiden through these feelings if he ever has them. To let him know its normal to feel this way if he does, to answer any questions he has and to let him know that I will always be here for him to the end. I pray I can help him not to have the feelings I did about myself growing up and that he will grow to be a strong and confident man.

I hope I have not made myself out to be a loser due to the lack of confidence I have in myself but I wanted to share some feelings with my blogger buddies. Love you all.