Missing my friends and family...BLAH!!!

Not sure if its just being stuck in the house and not getting out as much because of it being cold, the holiday season when your suppossed to be with loved ones or what the heck it is, but I am really missing my friends and family lately. The holidays are suppossed to be a fun and joyous time but without these people it just doesn't seem that way this year.



In the past, holidays were spent with family and I have had the three grandparents I have lost on my mind alot lately. I used to spend Christmas Eve with my mom's side of the family and I have lost both her mother and father. I lost my granny when Kelsey was 6 months old and my grandpa in 2001....these are the grandparents I was close to and until their passing we would see them every weekend. I sooo wish my grandma would of gotten to meet Clara and Aiden and that my grandpa would of gotten to see Aiden. They would of loved them sooo much and my grandfather would of taught my children so much about the ways of the world. Christmas Eve just isn't the same...something is definitely missing.



I lost my dad's mom in 1995 to pancreatic cancer and in a sense have also lost my grandpa on this side of the family too. He has alzeheimer's and doesn't even know his own children, much less his grandchildren and great grandchildren. We used to spend Christmas day with dad's side of the family and since my grandma passed away we rarely see that side of the family. I guess it was grandma that held the family together and my dad and his siblings just aren't close. I still try to do my part and invite them for get togethers and send them holiday cards but it seems as if they are all in their own world and we just don't see or hear from them.



I really, really miss my mom. She used to be the type that was never home and always had something to do and now she does nothing and never leaves the house. Over the pass few years she has had many surgeries on her knees and ankles and refused to do the exercises the physical therapist wanted her to do at home because they "hurt"...so now she is unable to walk without support and basically has given up and does nothing at all but sit at home and watch TV. She doesn't even come to the kids birthday get togethers anymore. I want my mom back. I wanna be able to call her and go shopping with her, go to lunch with her and just call and have a normal conversation with her about something other then her hurts. I pray that she has enough energy to join my brother and our families for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Can I say it again? I WANT MY MOM BACK.



I miss spending time with and talking with my friends as much as I used to. I have friends that I see on a weekly basis and I thank God for them and then I also have some friends that I haven't seen in a year or more and I miss seeing them and talking with them about daily things. I wanna be able to call and say meet me at Target and while we shop we can drink our Starbucks. I wanna know whats going on with their lives like I used to when we were close. How they are and their kiddos. I want to be able to support them in things going on in their lives, to cry and laugh with them. Friend's are what makes my world go round.



I know I have said it over and over but I miss "my" Kelsey. I am VERY proud of her for attempting to move away and go to school and for having the courage to admit it wasn't the right thing, and I am very proud of her for moving back home and getting her own place, a full time job and going back to school when the next semester starts back up BUT, I miss seeing her beautiful, smiling face every day. I miss going in her room and waking her up in the morning and telling her good night......text messages just aren't the same. I miss my oldest baby.



Sorry for rambling BUT, my friends and family are what is important to my life and I miss those of you that I don't see anymore or often enough.